Review of Rage vs Yakuza:

I accept total responsibility for this match occurring because this onslaught was supposed to be Rage vs Harold. Lucky for Harold, I had other ideas for him, and you will witness those ideas in a future release.

Rage…OH WOW!!! How awesome does she look in that black sports bra and that lovely bikini bottom that burns a flame in the perfect spot. DAMN!!! I can’t wait until Rage and I finally session. I promise to lose for exactly 1 hour.

Yakuza, on the other hand look like he just woke up. As the camera was circling the two, I couldn’t help but notice marks on Yakuza’s back which are indicative of someone who was sleeping on his back. Yakuza would spend plenty of time on his back during this onslaught.

What proceeded to happen next was an ass kicking of biblical proportions. Rage squeezed, pinned, and trapped this poor young man into oblivion. Just after the 5:00 mark, Rage commented, “Who is this joker?”

The joke would definitely be on Yakuza as the submissions continued to pile up. Often Yakuza would be faced with the view of flames on Rage’s bikini bottom. Anyone else would have perked right up at the thought of being under the “best ass” in the wrestling business. Sadly, Yakuza seemed to have other ideas, as he looked like he took a dose of sleeping pills. Someone at Fight Pulse needs to be put in charge of getting this guy a cup of coffee or something. Until this poor young man can get some adequate sleep, or a strong cup of coffee, he will be referred to as YaSnooza until further notice. As Rage stated during the match, this man was sinking in quicksand, and the more he struggled, the deeper he sank. Rather than quicksand, I equivocate this to the sinking of the Titanic. but I digress.

Rage finished off this sleepy fellow with a good dose of her crimson toenails, which caused YaSnooza to nearly throw up all over the Fight Pulse mats. Imagine being the cleaning crew tasked to clean up that mess?

Overall, this mismatch probably never should have taken place, but you can thank me for that once again. YaSnooza has a chance to redeem himself, as I will be downloading the Harley vs YaSnooza match tonight. He will lose the nickname if he does a better job. Until then………..